I havent wrote in this for a long time.. I actually started to write in my paper journal instead. Doug leaves for Basics in 3 weeks, I hope I get to see him in 2 weeks fingers crossed that:
A) I get to see him
B)My skin is all cleared up and
C) He loves the surprise I have planned =)
Tonight I feel like I have just been sitting staring at my computer thinking nurmerous thoughts not being able to control nor answer any of the questions that are running through my head. I have done sooo well this semester staying away from guys and drama and now I feel as though the end of the semester is nearing everything is kinda crashing...I think its Spring Fever haha
Looking through my paper journal I realized just how fast time goes by my first entry was on March 3, 2005 ..how time flys that was 10 days after my Gram died... now here we are4 years later seems crazy that the journal daes back to me being a sophmore in highschool the thoughts of first kisses and new experiences and the innocents of it all. Flipping through the pages I see a lot of what if's and first times, sad good byes and family fights. All of these past experiences have shaped and changed me as time passed.
I sit and wonder what I want , what would make me happy, and I realized that I'm still searching I think I know what I want, but when given that chance I run.
I guess what I need is someone who will run with me and not slow down until I am ready to stand still for the first time in my life, someone who wont let go just because I tell them to because I'm scared .I am really rambling here, but then again its almost one and I am not tired so I'm watching Army Wives which probally isn't smart because then I realize in 3 weeks Dougs gone for months, I cant imagine going that long without a text or a call or seeing him I just want to make the most out of the days I have left, and hope to god this damn rash is gone by next Friday...
A) I get to see him
B)My skin is all cleared up and
C) He loves the surprise I have planned =)
Tonight I feel like I have just been sitting staring at my computer thinking nurmerous thoughts not being able to control nor answer any of the questions that are running through my head. I have done sooo well this semester staying away from guys and drama and now I feel as though the end of the semester is nearing everything is kinda crashing...I think its Spring Fever haha
Looking through my paper journal I realized just how fast time goes by my first entry was on March 3, 2005 ..how time flys that was 10 days after my Gram died... now here we are4 years later seems crazy that the journal daes back to me being a sophmore in highschool the thoughts of first kisses and new experiences and the innocents of it all. Flipping through the pages I see a lot of what if's and first times, sad good byes and family fights. All of these past experiences have shaped and changed me as time passed.
I sit and wonder what I want , what would make me happy, and I realized that I'm still searching I think I know what I want, but when given that chance I run.
I guess what I need is someone who will run with me and not slow down until I am ready to stand still for the first time in my life, someone who wont let go just because I tell them to because I'm scared .I am really rambling here, but then again its almost one and I am not tired so I'm watching Army Wives which probally isn't smart because then I realize in 3 weeks Dougs gone for months, I cant imagine going that long without a text or a call or seeing him I just want to make the most out of the days I have left, and hope to god this damn rash is gone by next Friday...
No comments:
Post a Comment